Promise #96: There’s always something beautiful at the center

 There was this bee drinking joy juice and, unknowingly, getting ready to pollinate the world

There was this flower, no bigger than a half-inch, open to the sun

There was this sun in the center of the sky

And there was this star in the center of a flower

Proof positive that there’s something really beautiful in the center of you, too.

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Promise #95: It’s tough to enjoy the journey when you’re hell-bent on making good time

A few weeks ago I stumbled upon a friend’s Facebook update…her husband was adjusting the interior of the rental car as he drove off the lot—seat back, mirrors, radio, gps—so that he could make good time. A few years ago my husband started driving out of a crowded parking lot with one son half in/half out of the car just so he could make good time home. Go on, take a moment to ponder the memories made on that trip.

Is the need for making good time more important than the need to make a good memory? Can those two things—time and memory— happily coexist when you’re in a hurry? At the risk of sounding sexist—do you need a ding-dong to declare the success of every road trip will be measured against the clock? Loaded question, that’s for sure.

I’m usually delighted when I make good time on a long trip, but it’s never my mission. I never peel out of the driveway crazed, bug-eyed, fidgity declaring: I. Am. Going. To. Make. Good. Time.

Quite honestly, the whole declaration puts a real damper on things. There’s no stopping on the way unless it’s an absolutely, positively, necessary call of nature. So what’s missing? Peace, discovery, the wonder of the journey? Who knows? Not I.

I think it’s interesting that I never hear anyone say they want to make good time driving to or away from the grocery store. Or that they want to make good time driving to school or work. Making good time is reserved for the big trips. And I think that’s sort of ironic, because  wouldn’t it be better to have a good time on the journey, as opposed to sucking the life out of every trip?

Ding. Dong.

What do you think? Leave your memories in the comments…happy travels.

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Promise #94: Your pencils are sharp enough, even the dull ones

Just watch…and listen…and absorb

A big thanks to C.A. Kobu for sharing this video.

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Promise #93: Peace is what you find when you choose to find yourself

You cannot find peace by avoiding life.
Virginia Woolf

Twisted pinky started two years ago today. I was certain promise was my answer for finding peace and so I hatched a plan to write it out of me.

If you’ve ever searched for a lost sock in a dryer, then you know the frustrated energy fueling my quest—you put two socks in and only one comes out. It’s got to be in there, but you can’t dismantle the whole machine just to get it out. Or can you?

You can…it all boils down to making a choice to find what you want. It’s easy to over-analyze your choices. It’s a little bit more difficult to just make a few (right or wrong, smart or silly, good or bad) and own the outcome.

Given the choice, would you choose tranquility or noise? Love or hate? Happiness or agitation? Harmony or conflict?

That’s what I thought.

They seem like easy choices, right? Tranquility, love, happiness, harmony-all states of peace worth the search. It’s just that you can’t really enjoy those states until you commit to finding inner peace. You need to be open to the power of possibility. You need to choose to actively participate in your own life instead of allowing other people to plan it out for you.

Choice is your holy grail. Realizing that you are in control of your journey places you on a path where inner peace thrives. It’s not always flat and easy, but it is always free, open and full of life.

Cheers to your journey.

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Promise #92: Life lessons ease the pain of aging

Birthdays have a way of burrowing into your head. I. Know. This. To. Be. True.

My pre-birthday ritual from age 35-40 was to convince myself that I was dying. That’s right, from January 2 until my mid-February birthday I believed every ache and pain was the beginning of the end of me. Migraine = tumor. Heartburn = heart attack. Kidney stone = childbirth. Okay, so maybe the last one wasn’t a killer, but a chill ran up my spine nonetheless. I’m allowed to say that after spending seven years locked in a house with my babes during the long winter months. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns, thankyouverymuch.

I digress.

Do you let birthdays get to you? It’s silly, really. We can’t stop them. We can’t avoid them. We can’t even really ignore them. There’s always someone who wants to make a fuss. This year, I decided to embrace the nonsense with wine and cake. A few days later I completed a Life Lessons interview on Rene Syler’s website. She asked what my biggest life lesson was last year and that got me thinking: I should have at least 43 by now.  So here they are, not in any particular order…

1. Learn how to get around on your own-ride a bike, drive a car, navigate your way through transportation systems (air, sea and rail)
2. Always speak your mind, even when you shouldn’t, because eventually people will realize you have courage, character and a very loud mouth that you’re not afraid to use
3. Sweat the small stuff, it’s usually the difference between being good and being great
4. Screw convention-no one every makes it big by playing safe
5. Children force you to age in dog years
6. Celebrate your highs and learn from your lows
7. Love is not a strategy game
8. Know how to support yourself at all times
9. Woe is not you, even when you’re convinced it is
10. Kindness moves mountains
11. Every relationship is a drawbridge that can be opened and closed
12. The more you date, the more you know
13. Choice is the only thing that really decides your future
14. Learn how to type, speak another language and read lips
15. Don’t start conversations with “when I was your age,” it’s usually irrelevant
16. Regrets are for sissies
17. Changing your mind is an inalienable right
18. Laugh at yourself
19. If you waste your time arguing with an opinionated jerk, there’s a good chance you’ll morph into one
20. Fulfill your wishes
21. Do something because you want to, not because you need to
22. Be insanely grateful to crappy bosses and nasty “friends” they teach you how to be a good person
23. Believe in yourself at all times, in all situations, despite all odds
24. Children are not meant to be broken, parents are
25. Don’t try a swimsuit on in fluorescent lighting
26. The most interesting person at the party is usually standing by the wall just looking around
27. Don’t worry about peaking in high school-the star quarterback/cheerleader usually ends up stuck in time, wardrobe and all
28. Make sure you marry your best friend, no one else will ever put up with your nonsense
29. Don’t let anyone define you, you’re not a No. 2 pencil dot on a census form
30. There’s a reason why nobody ever says, “I wish I didn’t take so many pictures” unless, of course, you’re a politician with a cell phone and a twitter account
31. Guilt is a useless emotion
32. You’ll never earn respect without showing it
33. You do have time, you don’t have to share it
34. Life would be so much easier if we could just put a Mr. Yuck sticker on toxic people
35. When you’re finally ready to get married you realize there’s really no rush
36. Truth manifests during silence
37. There is always something standing in the way of someone’s dreams…make sure it’s not you
38. Honor your scars
39. If you really want to network, get in touch with the Universe
40. Act out of need, not expectation
41. Miracles are a gentle reminder that hope is real
42. Synchronicity is a gentle reminder that you are never alone
43. Trust yourself

Have a lesson to share? Add it to the list…

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