Promise #9: Embrace your fame and fortune

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It’s Chica’s birthday today!

Right at this very moment she’s gasping at her iPhone. Yep, I am going to post about this, Anneliza, so just sit back and enjoy it. You’re famous.

This is the bonus of birthdays. The more you have the more likely you are to realize you are someone’s superstar. But whose? Start with the bunch of groupies always eager to eat of piece of cake that’s covered in your birthday breath. They must idolize you.

According to Naomi Shihab Nye your breath would be famous to the candle…or so I imagine. She captures this state of being so beautifully in her poem Famous:

The river is famous to the fish.

The loud voice is famous to the silence,

which knew it would inherit the earth

before anybody said so.

The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds

watching him from the birdhouse.

The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek.

The idea you carry close to your bosom

is famous to your bosom.

The boot is famous to the earth

more famous than the dress shoe,

which is famous only to floors.

The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it,

and not at all famous to the one who is pictured.

This poem continues. Take a moment to read it here. It’s too beautiful to ignore…much like all of you. You’re all famous. And as we all know, with fame comes fortune.

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Excert “Famous” from Words Under the Words: Selected Poems (Portland, Oregon: Far Corner Books, 1995). Copyright © 1995 by Naomi Shihab Nye.

Promise #8: Find your Popeyes, Lose your Wimpys

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Who would you rather have on your team: Popeye with his spinach muscle or Wimpy with his hamburger fat? I’m blindly banking on Popeye to deliver. For seventy-five, fun-loving years he stayed true to himself (“I yam what I yam”) and stayed true to his friends. Wimpy, on the other hand, was a mooch through and through (“I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”)

Everyone needs a few Popeyes in their life. No one needs a Wimpy. Chances are you have a mixture of both on your friendship roster.

Popeyes make you feel happy, strong and secure. They form a bond with you that’s honest, dependable, unwavering and unconditional. There is give and take. Laughter and love. Strength and courage. These friendships are all muscle. They drive you through life and anchor you during storms.

Wimpys, on the other hand, are the direct opposite. When you mingle with a Wimpy you feel like the life is being sucked out of you. Bit by bit, Wimpys take and take and take. They form a bond with you that’s exhaustingly self-serving. They’re only around when they need you. They don’t always take your calls. They rarely follow-through. They lie at the drop of anyone’s hat. These friendships are all fat. They slow you down and, eventually, leave you floating all alone.

The good news is there’s nothing stopping YOU from building a stronger team. Trim the fat. Build the muscle. You’ll enjoy a smoother voyage through life.

Promise #7: Take Sundays off

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I’m old enough to remember when Sundays were…Suuuuuuuunnnnnndaaaaays. When the only things open were church, Marinelli’s bakery and Nana’s dining room.

If I close my eyes I can hear my brother laughing at an Abbott and Costello television skit. I can smell my grandmother’s kitchen—it’s a delicious concoction of food, (her) clean perfume and (my grandfather’s) musky cologne. I can even feel the warmth of Marinelli’s crumbly fresh roll in the palm of my hand and on the tip of my tongue.

Amen for the memory. Some traditions end too soon.

This may be more of a challenge than a promise but I’m putting it out there: take Sundays off. Walk away from angst and anxiety. Walk away from your cell phone, email, laundry and housework. Don’t wash your car, don’t mow your lawn, don’t spend one minute wasting the gift of a Suuuuuuuunnnnnndaaaaay.

Spend your day with people you love. You may end up loving life.

Promise #6: Get away from the world of fools breaking you down

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Every night is date night when you’re living in paradise. Wednesday night is date night when you’re not.

My husband and I started our date night ritual before it was part of the vernacular. That was 14 years ago (not counting our “real” dating years). If you do the math, we’ve enjoyed more than 700 dates.

I’m not 100% sure, but that might be as many dates as Date Night Director Shawn Levy has had with his wife. The only difference is that we’re not a bit bored.

Our ritual started like the Levy’s—we always visited the same restaurant, ordered the same food, etc. A year later, we moved far away (from the restaurant) and started a family. Many things changed, but our commitment to date night endured.

How? We make it easy to enjoy. We don’t go anywhere. We merely travel to the bar in our basement. We don’t need a sitter or a plan or a block of time. There’s no traffic. No crowd. No hoopla. No reservations required. We sit in the same spot. We enjoy the same drink(s). The only thing that changes is the conversation. It’s a beautiful thing.

If you google “date night” you’ll plummet into a virtual landfill of ideas: snow shoe tours (exhausting), cake decorating (stupid), RV romance (senior), hot tub love (expected)…

The key to date night is acknowledging the cheesy brilliance behind the Bee Gees’ classic “How Deep Is Your Love.” For us, date night is about doing the one thing we’ve always loved doing: hanging out, talking, laughing and bantering a bit. On a good night I’m reminded why I fell in love 16 years ago. On a bad night (it happens, we’re human) I’m reminded why I’m still in it to win it: “we are living in a world of fools breaking us down when they all should let us be”…for at least one night a week.

Promise #5: Pinch yourself

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This is not “pinch yourself” as in “you must be dreaming.” It’s “pinch yourself” as in “this is for your own good.” Big difference.

Can you count the number of times someone told you something was going to feel like a pinch? How about how many times that something was for your greater good? Pinches are necessary (evils) for improvements. Or, a better way to say it: pinch leads to pleasure.

If you want to figure out what your pinch is, figure out what you hope to attain. A slimmer, trimmer you? The pinch is diet and exercise. A new job? The pinch is a search, class or (maybe) career change. A smooth upper lip? Hot wax. More respect? Less excuses.

I’m sure you get the point. Close your eyes. Squish up your face. Take the pinch. Pleasure is just a promise away.