Promise #88: Command Attention
Did you know the best way to command attention from a dog is to simply ignore the dog? No eye contact. No squatting down to say hello. No petting. No weird-baby-dog-talk. Nothing.
Apparently, this lack of interest alerts the dog that you large and in charge. Your body language communicates that you simply can’t be bothered by his neediness. And so, instead of jumping on you he’ll just wander around…sniffing, investigating, circling your b-e-i-n-g in an awestruck-kind-of-way. He’ll still try to get your attention, but he won’t knock you over in the process. He might knock over a garbage can, like my buddy in the picture, but it’s easier to clean up garbage than recover from a fall.
Really. No joke. It works.
The challenge lies in ignoring the dog. It’s difficult to shift your attention when he’s jumping up and down, barking, acting like a crazed puppy.
Sometimes you just can’t help yourself…
The dog jumps and you react. The more you react the more the dog jumps. The dog is in charge of that situation, not you, because the dog is creating an action that gains a response. In an insanely oversimplified way…this makes the dog the leader and you the knee-jerk reactor.
You are what you react to.
We all want to be noticed on some level, by someone. We’re pack creatures, too. In any circle you can find someone in charge and a tribe of followers. As people try to shift positions and get ahead they’re moving forward, or backward, based upon the reactions they receive.
Leadership is a state of mind.
Leaders know what to react to and what to ignore. They know where to focus their attention and how to gain attention for their focus. They move forward with focus and intention.
When they do this their pack responds with shared vision and support for their mission because that’s the only way that the leader will pay attention or pat them on the back or celebrate their brilliance.
This creates a healthy relationship in any zone—home, office, friends, school—because if they’re not reacting to every-single-itty-bitty-attention-grabbing ploy then they’re creating meaningful interactions.
Sometimes, ignorance is bliss; other times, it’s just pure brilliance.
Promise #81: Occupy Your Own Peace on Earth
I walked past a wall of Christmas wreaths—at least six feet long and seven feet high—on my way into the grocery store. It’s not the first wall of wreaths I’ve seen, and it won’t be the last. Trouble is, it’s only November 22nd. We haven’t even celebrated Thanksgiving yet here in the states.
Why do we allow this madness to continue year after year after year? So a big box retailer can meet a year-end goal? So our house can be decorated before the first of December? What’s the rush? And why do we continue to care?
I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but we’re not marching to our own drum. Can you honestly tell me the people working at Walmart want to deal with crazed Black Friday shoppers at 10 o’clock in the evening ON THE NIGHT BEFORE BLACK FRIDAY? Shouldn’t all those people, workers and shoppers alike, be in a tryptophan coma? Isn’t that coma one of our inalienable human rights?
We spend so much time preparing for this season that we create a world where we can’t be present at all.
What if we refused to buy wreaths before December 1st? What if we didn’t show up for the pre-Black Friday deals? What if we stopped walking around like turkeys? What if we didn’t jump for the carrots? What if we knew, believed, embraced:
Would it matter? Would you occupy your own peace on earth?
Promise #80: Give thanks for your naked ass
Awesome artwork by spunkinator
I started a diet a few weeks ago. There was a growing tension between my belly, my belt buckle and my brain.
When I entered my weight stats into the Weight Watcher tracker thingamagiggy, I learned that I’m within my range. Unfortunately, I’m not within my comfort zone. I know how I feel when I’m 10 pounds lighter and I really miss it. So I decided it was time to quit making excuses and work toward feeling better about myself.
Getting to that point is half the battle.
There’s an insane amount of time dedicated to making us all feel not right; to giving us standards and measures and comparisons—none of which are the norm, really. I’m not aiming for a bikini, I’m just aiming for a general state of comfort and joy. This will continue to include a few of my favorite things, namely wine and chocolate. And chocolate and wine.
You can imagine how delighted I was to stumble upon Kimberly Riggins’ new book announcement: Love your naked ass. Kimberly’s website is dedicated to me and my ass (and you and yours) eating chocolate naked. I never really considered the importance of eating chocolate naked, but it really would be the culmination of a moment well lived. Alone, perhaps, but lived nonetheless.
For now, I’m knee-deep in bland salads and measured meats. Not because Weight Watchers is just another boring diet, but because I masterfully craft wine and chocolate into my weekly (okay, daily) point allotment. Sure, it’s going to take me a little bit longer to reach my minus 10 goal, but I’m going to do it with a big, fat smile on my face.
I’m minus four and counting, but Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Thanks to Kimberly, this year, I plan to give thanks for my naked ass.
Gobble. Gobble. Peace.
Promise #77: Think different
You need to harness creativity. Branch out. Take risks.
You need to share your brilliance with everyone you meet. Take the energy you invest in fear and invest it your ideas.
When you think you can’t, know that you can. When you think you shouldn’t, know that you must. When you’re not sure, think of Steve.
He didn’t have a sense of entitlement, he had a sense of invention.
He championed curiosity and humanity. He used courage to create change.
All he ever wanted to do was “make a dent in the universe.” Instead, he made a enormous well that’s filled with the power of imagination. Including yours.
Your time is limited. Don’t waste it living someone else’s life.
Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.
Don’t let the noise of other opinions drown out your own inner voice.
And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition—they somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary.
Promise #73: Keep authority in the palm of your hand
Are you clamoring for a slice of authority pie? Longing to be large and in charge? Wishing to command the room with a leader’s presence and ease?
It’s not as difficult as you think.
You don’t really need to invest in countless hours of training. You don’t need a degree. It doesn’t matter if you have one recommendation or thirty. You know what you need? A clipboard.
Yes, a freaking clipboard.
Make sure it’s not too fancy. You don’t want anyone thinking you invest in fancy clipboards. Authority can’t be bothered with such things.
Buy a traditional clipboard with brown hardboard and an aluminum clip. It would be smart to toss it around a bit. You know, muddy it up. Let the world think you didn’t just remove the cellophane wrap and become an authority figure overnight.
Ponder the magic for just a second. Recall how many times you blindly gravitated toward the person holding that prize. How many times did you ask:
“Can you tell me who’s in charge?”
Only to be told:
“The guy with the clipboard. He’s over there?”
It’s true, my friend: clipboard = authority. Office Depot is practically giving it away—$2.99 for a pack of two. That’s one for you and one to spare. Consider it a back up. After all, the only thing worse than not having authority is allowing it to slip from your grip.
photo by Lainebird5000
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