Promise #95: It’s tough to enjoy the journey when you’re hell-bent on making good time

Apr, 23 2012
By Tracey
Joy
6 Comments

Twisted Pinky A few weeks ago I stumbled upon a friend’s Facebook update…her husband was adjusting the interior of the rental car as he drove off the lot—seat back, mirrors, radio, gps—so that he could make good time. A few years ago my husband started driving out of a crowded parking lot with one son half in/half out of the car just so he could make good time home. Go on, take a moment to ponder the memories made on that trip.

Is the need for making good time more important than the need to make a good memory? Can those two things—time and memory— happily coexist when you’re in a hurry? At the risk of sounding sexist—do you need a ding-dong to declare the success of every road trip will be measured against the clock? Loaded question, that’s for sure.

I’m usually delighted when I make good time on a long trip, but it’s never my mission. I never peel out of the driveway crazed, bug-eyed, fidgity declaring: I. Am. Going. To. Make. Good. Time.

Quite honestly, the whole declaration puts a real damper on things. There’s no stopping on the way unless it’s an absolutely, positively, necessary call of nature. So what’s missing? Peace, discovery, the wonder of the journey? Who knows? Not I.

I think it’s interesting that I never hear anyone say they want to make good time driving to or away from the grocery store. Or that they want to make good time driving to school or work. Making good time is reserved for the big trips. And I think that’s sort of ironic, because wouldn’t it be better to have a good time on the journey, as opposed to sucking the life out of every trip?

Ding. Dong.

What do you think? Leave your memories in the comments…happy travels.

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Promise #92: Life lessons ease the pain of aging

Mar, 13 2012
By Tracey
Joy
7 Comments

Promise 92 Birthdays have a way of burrowing into your head. I. Know. This. To. Be. True.

My pre-birthday ritual from age 35-40 was to convince myself that I was dying. That’s right, from January 2 until my mid-February birthday I believed every ache and pain was the beginning of the end of me. Migraine = tumor. Heartburn = heart attack. Kidney stone = childbirth. Okay, so maybe the last one wasn’t a killer, but a chill ran up my spine nonetheless. I’m allowed to say that after spending seven years locked in a house with my babes during the long winter months. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns, thankyouverymuch.

I digress.

Do you let birthdays get to you? It’s silly, really. We can’t stop them. We can’t avoid them. We can’t even really ignore them. There’s always someone who wants to make a fuss. This year, I decided to embrace the nonsense with wine and cake. A few days later I completed a Life Lessons interview on Rene Syler’s website. She asked what my biggest life lesson was last year and that got me thinking: I should have at least 43 by now. So here they are, not in any particular order…

Learn how to get around on your own-ride a bike, drive a car, navigate your way through transportation systems (air, sea and rail)
Always speak your mind, even when you shouldn’t, because eventually people will realize you have courage, character and a very loud mouth that you’re not afraid to use
Sweat the small stuff, it’s usually the difference between being good and being great
Screw convention-no one every makes it big by playing safe
Children force you to age in dog years
Celebrate your highs and learn from your lows
Love is not a strategy game
Know how to support yourself at all times
Woe is not you, even when you’re convinced it is
Kindness moves mountains
Every relationship is a drawbridge that can be opened and closed
The more you date, the more you know
Choice is the only thing that really decides your future
Learn how to type, speak another language and read lips
Don’t start conversations with “when I was your age,” it’s usually irrelevant
Regrets are for sissies
Changing your mind is an inalienable right
Laugh at yourself
If you waste your time arguing with an opinionated jerk, there’s a good chance you’ll morph into one
Fulfill your wishes
Do something because you want to, not because you need to
Be insanely grateful to crappy bosses and nasty “friends” they teach you how to be a good person
Believe in yourself at all times, in all situations, despite all odds
Children are not meant to be broken, parents are
Don’t try a swimsuit on in fluorescent lighting
The most interesting person at the party is usually standing by the wall just looking around
Don’t worry about peaking in high school-the star quarterback/cheerleader usually ends up stuck in time, wardrobe and all
Make sure you marry your best friend, no one else will ever put up with your nonsense
Don’t let anyone define you, you’re not a No. 2 pencil dot on a census form
There’s a reason why nobody ever says, “I wish I didn’t take so many pictures” unless, of course, you’re a politician with a cell phone and a twitter account
Guilt is a useless emotion
You’ll never earn respect without showing it
You do have time, you don’t have to share it
Life would be so much easier if we could just put a Mr. Yuck sticker on toxic people
When you’re finally ready to get married you realize there’s really no rush
Truth manifests during silence
There is always something standing in the way of someone’s dreams…make sure it’s not you
Honor your scars
If you really want to network, get in touch with the Universe
Act out of need, not expectation
Miracles are a gentle reminder that hope is real
Synchronicity is a gentle reminder that you are never alone
Trust yourself