Promise #43: Stop

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Seriously. Just stop.

Stop thinking about work.

Stop dreaming about sales.

Stop worrying about what’s next, what’s left, what’s right and what’s wrong.

Stop hoping for more.

Stop wishing for less.

Stop wondering about the future.

Stop contemplating the past.

Stop asking for guidance.

Stop looking for gratitude.

Stop.

Look at the people to your right. And the ones to your left. Look at those that are taller, and the ones so much smaller.

Share a laugh or a smile. Give a kiss, hug or hello. These are your lucky stars.

Stop and thank them for lighting up your world.

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Photo by Peter Kaminski

Promise #42: Erase something

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Every four weeks I erase something that drags me down. It’s vain and mental and deliberate and dishonest. But I do it because it makes me feel like a million bucks—a million freaking bucks—every four weeks. I erase my grayer than gray, gray, gray hair.

I don’t think twice about doing this. In fact, my appointments are lined up months in advance. I don’t think twice about rearranging my schedule get there. And I don’t think twice about defending this indulgence. Let’s be honest, it’s an indulgence.

Yet I do think twice about erasing two other things that I can definitely live without: my inner critic and my lazy butt. Actually, if I erased my inner critic, my lazy butt would automatically disappear. I just realized they are one in the same. That’s the power of an inner critic.

I’m not alone, am I? You have one too, right? Let’s put our heads together and get this monster off the stage.

Here’s a three-step master plan:

1. Let the critic speak. I know, it seems counterintuitive, but understanding the critic is half the battle here. When does the critic lash out: work, relationships, parenting? Figure that out and move on to step two.
2. Take a trip to the island of positivity. If your inner critic is lashing out every time you’re trying to work, write a list of positive, work-related accomplishments. If it’s relationships, write a list of why you’re the most loving person on the face of the earth. If it’s parenting, list the ways you’re raising great, little human beings.
3. Get your retorts in order. It’s going to take a while to erase the critic, but with a handy-dandy list of positivity in your pocket you can whisk away the negativity in one fell swoop.

I already have my retort ready. The next time my critic tells me my presentation isn’t good enough, my writing sucks and my lazy butt needs to get in gear I’m going to whisper three simple words that only my critic will hear: “Screw you, loser.”

It’s very profound, I know. Can you think of something better? Share it in the comments below.

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Photo by  theilr

Promise #41: Honor your flight

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Fate has a funny way of transporting hope; spreading joy; creating heroes.

Think about it. The number of worlds altered when two people meet is, typically, more than two. Despite how hard we sometimes try to avoid it, our own little world is rarely our own.

Consider the collision of Nelson and Jeff.

Nelson takes a seat on a plane from Kansas City to Washington, DC. Jeff takes the seat next to him. Nelson is headed to see the WWII memorial. Jeff is headed home. Nelson is excited. Jeff is tired. Nelson is talkative. Jeff is tired. Nelson is endearing. Jeff is intrigued.

Nelson registered for the service at 18, but was assigned a low draft assignment because his dad was a farmer and he was the last boy. He wrote to the draft asking to be moved up because his great grandfather, grandfather and dad were all in the army. He entered the service in 1944. But due to his poor eyesight he was placed into the Signal Corps. He was assigned to the China-Burma-India Theater, first in India, then to Shanghai, China. He worked for a full Colonel and was promoted rapidly to Technical Sergeant.  He was involved in the plans to invade Japan until the bomb hit.

After 2 years he came home, farmed for 13 years, moved to Omaha, joined the National Guard for 10 years, then the Reserves for 10 years and retired as a Major.

Nelson’s plane ticket was purchased by Honor Flight -an organization whose mission is to transport veterans for free to visit the memorial(s) in Washington, DC, that  honor the war(s) in which they served. If you visit the website you’ll see their focus is on WWII veterans right now, hence this chance meeting between Nelson and Jeff.  When the plane landed and the men said goodbye, Jeff returned home and made a donation to Honor Flight.

And so goes the power of fate.

Nelson and Jeff became fast friends trapped in an air pocket with nothing to do but listen, learn and share. They exchanged stories, laughs and email addresses. In true wingman fashion, Nelson gave Jeff a baked bean recipe that makes him look like a hero in the kitchen. They still keep in touch, as I’m sure they will for quite some time.

It’s tough to say what can happen when you honor your own flight and let fate lead the way. Chances are you’ll end up in a place more enriching than you might otherwise imagine.

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Photo by Grace