Promise #73: Keep authority in the palm of your hand

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Are you clamoring for a slice of authority pie? Longing to be large and in charge? Wishing to command the room with a leader’s presence and ease?

It’s not as difficult as you think.

You don’t really need to invest in countless hours of training. You don’t need a degree. It doesn’t matter if you have one recommendation or thirty. You know what you need? A clipboard.

Yes, a freaking clipboard.

Make sure it’s not too fancy. You don’t want anyone thinking you invest in fancy clipboards. Authority can’t be bothered with such things.

Buy a traditional clipboard with brown hardboard and an aluminum clip. It would be smart to toss it around a bit.  You know, muddy it up. Let the world think you didn’t just remove the cellophane wrap and become an authority figure overnight.

Ponder the magic for just a second. Recall how many times you blindly gravitated toward the person holding that prize. How many times did you ask:

“Can you tell me who’s in charge?”

Only to be told:

“The guy with the clipboard. He’s over there?”

It’s true, my friend: clipboard = authority. Office Depot is practically giving it away—$2.99 for a pack of two. That’s one for you and one to spare. Consider it a back up. After all, the only thing worse than not having authority is allowing it to slip from your grip.

photo by Lainebird5000