Promise #60: Screw promise and the horse she never rides in on

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I’m not a big fan of the self-help section in bookstores.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe self-help is the answer to just about every problem any person can ever have. If you aren’t willing to help yourself, you can’t expect the world to be willing to help you. Harsh? Maybe. True? Yes.

Maybe an author or a therapist or a counselor can offer an idea that might bring you closer to a solution to a problem, but unless that idea takes into account your state of mind, your state of being, your state of YOU, then it just ain’t gonna work. The only person who has your answer is you…

Get in touch with yourself and anything is possible.

Today is the first anniversary of Twisted Pinky. I never realized the irony of starting this blog on April Fools Day. When I think back to the questions I answered from cough curious friends and family members I can clearly see now that they thought I was a fool.

Eyebrows still raise. Eyes still roll. Snarky little comments escape from mouths like air from a deflating tire. It doesn’t bother me (anymore). I understand what’s not to be understood. Quite frankly, I don’t care.

If you trail back to my about page, you can see that I started Twisted Pinky just to get back in the habit of writing. This is really the promise that started it all. A promise to me, myself and I.

My first post was a letter to myself: Stay true to you. I think about three people read that post. And though I’m grateful they did, I wasn’t sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for them to do so.

That attitude is what brings me to this first anniversary.

Not caring about things that are important is a strategy that has served me very well over the years. I met my husband when I truly didn’t give a flying-you-know-what whether he would acknowledge my presence or not. I started my business when I didn’t give a rat’s a*s what clients would think when they heard my kids laughing, giggling, okay—screaming— in the background. I shifted my career several times not really worried about where those roads would take me.

I guess by “not caring” I really mean  “letting go.” The truth is all of those things above mattered greatly to me, but I didn’t get wrapped up in the before and after. I didn’t over-think, over-wonder or under-value myself. I let the moments just happen. I trusted myself. Sometimes, I don’t do that enough.

That being said, I can honestly say I’ve spent more time thinking about promise than anyone on the face of the planet. I’ve thought about promises worth making. I’ve posted those worth keeping. And in an ohmygodifinallyunderstandwhattheproblemis sort of way I think I’ve figured out why we’re all a little afraid to commit to ourselves.

It’s not because we’re so busy, although we are.

It’s not because we’re so0000 selfless, though we may be.

It’s because we’re so afraid of letting ourselves down.

If I promise myself 30 minutes of free time, and I never get it, I’m angry. If I don’t promise myself 30 minutes of free time, and I get it, I’m tickled pink.

If I promise myself I’ll try to get an interview with a company, and I don’t get it, I’m disappointed. If I don’t promise myself that, and it happens, I’m overjoyed.

Strange, right?

Promise happens when you make it happen.

We’re conditioned to think promise should ride into our lives on a white horse. Life is not so kind.

Case in point: my original intention for this anniversary post was to list 60 promises made by 60 people I admire and who are comfortable putting themselves out-there on the web. Sixty people I interact with in various and sundry places. Sixty people who make me stop, think, improve, excel. Sixty people who, one way or another, knowingly or unknowingly to them, have a positive impact on my life.

That became an impossible feat for me. I tweeted folks. I emailed others. I asked around. Guess how many people were willing to share promises with me? Six.

I should be embarrassed to tell you that, but I’m not. That’s because in a very fate-is-so-weird way their promises totally touched me. In a way that I can only hope the promises I’ve made this past year—about hope, joy, love, kindness, faith, trust and moxie—have touched you.

Here are six promises worth considering and six peeps worth following through their links. They’re all worth getting to know a bit more:

• Don’t let the fear of failure discourage you from trying. Mike

• Life is too short for drama. Misty

• Love & then release : let go of the things that don’t serve your spirit with love. Amanda

• To be kinder to myself and others than I was yesterday. Ruth

• To remember what is TRULY important to me. Amber
• Promise to LIVE. Stephey

How about you? Share your promise with me in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.