Promise #16: Enjoy the conversation
“Mom, remember that kid I told you about who was getting a puppy?”
“Yep.”
“Well, she’s getting two puppies. A brother and sister.”
“Wow. She’s gonna have her hands full.”
“Yea. I told her there’s no way she’s gonna have enough love for two of `em. I know how much I love Duncan and there’s no way I’d be able to love another puppy that much. [Pause] Maybe when one puppy’s in the room she’ll be fine because she won’t have to love the other puppy — because it’s not there— but if they’re in the room at the same time there’s no way she’s gonna to be able love them both. No way.”
“Really? Do you think when you’re brother’s not in the room I have more love to give to you?”
“Yep.”
“So then where do you think love comes from?”
[Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong pause]
“Can I wear my Under Armour shirt to baseball tonight.”
[Sigh]
“Sure.”
Promise #15: Raise your voice
There’s something to be said for sharing an idea (and by idea I mean anything creative that moves against the tried and true flow). It’s daunting, rewarding, exhilarating, frightening and (more often than not) insanely energizing.
When was the last time you put yourself out there? Raised your voice? Seeped creative energy from your soul?
Kids do it without batting a lash. They sing their little hearts out. Dance their tushies off. They draw like Picasso and dream as if it’s their last day on earth.
They do this for us. They remind us to think freely, pursue passions and share openly. They do this until we apply the brakes, enforce the rules and introduce the regulations that drain their little creative batteries dry.
The result? Some voices stop singing, others sing in the shower and a few brave the system and step up to the microphone.
How about you? How loud is your voice?
Do you think that you’re not creative? You are. Are you afraid of wasting your time? You won’t. Are you convinced that creativity won’t heat the house? Heating your heart is sometimes enough.
Put yourself out there to show the world that you’re breathing. You have ideas worth sharing, drawings worth drawing, clothes worth designing, songs worth singing, pictures worth taking, canvases worth painting, words worth writing.
Put yourself out there and free the energy from your soul.
Promise # 14: Pay (fill in the blank) forward
Pay it forward is such a simple concept. It’s hard to imagine why our world isn’t a better place because of it already.
If you’re not familiar with this method of payment take note: when someone tells you to pay it forward they expect you to pass the generosity they give to you on to someone else instead of paying them with moolah for the goods, service or act they provided to you. It’s the ultimate act of random kindness.
The grammarian in me thinks if we replace the ambiguity of “it” we can instantly improve the process by promising to fill in the blank as we pass “it” on. Consider the implications: what if the last time someone made you smile they instructed, “Pay that smile forward?” How about if a stranger filled your head with hope and then said, “Pay that hope forward?” What would you do? Would you feel more compelled to pass “it” along? I know I would.
You’re thinking…how is this promise going to work for me?
Make a list of your top five “it” items and promise to start paying them forward. It’s a win-win…
Here’s what I hope to pay forward by the week’s end-
- Belly laughs
- Undivided attention
- Encouragement
- Happy and helpful science board assistance (not an emotional high by the stretch of any imagination, but my boys will be very happy if I provide this service without growling and grumbling)
- Thoughtful advice
How about you…what’s the “it” on your list?
Promise #13: Give your gut-o-meter the attention it deserves
My youngest son’s first sentence was, “They bite.”
He was sitting in the back of a double stroller. We just started our walk when I noticed a turtle wiggling its hind legs into the mulch. I stopped the stroller and leaned down to take a very close look when Henry belted out, “Daaaaaayyyyy BITE!” He was two-and-a-half years old.
I remember standing there for a moment, trapped between the peculiarity of my baby’s first sentence and that of the turtle-monster’s ugly beak face, spiked tail and clawed feet. What was all that?
It turns out that was two very interesting things:
- a snapping turtle preparing to lay her eggs
- a glimpse of Henry’s budding gut instinct
Yikes. Where the heck was my gut instinct? It took me ten minutes to find a matching picture of that turtle online, yet it only took Henry ten seconds to figure out his mommy was about to lose her face.
Thankfully, I didn’t lose face that day. I have, admittedly, lost face many times by allowing my brain to override my gut. Have you done this? Muffled your gut with reasons and facts? Explanations and experiences? Errors and judgments?
It’s really silly, when you think about it. We’re all programmed with a gut-o-meter. It effortlessly runs on trust and attention. You can follow it as often as you wish without applying reason, digging for facts or formulating explanations. It’s (almost) always right. And even if it leads you astray, the experience rarely bites as much as over-exploring every avenue and then making a wrong turn.
Promise #11: Identify your lifeline
You don’t need a ticket to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire to identify your lifeline. After all, this is the person guaranteed to save your butt, right? Don’t you need to know at all times who that person is? Damn straight you do.
Your lifeline, hereafter referred to as LL, must complement your brainpower. Weak in common sense? Your LL must have wicked street smarts. Unable to find your way out of a paper bag? Your LL must be a walking GPS. Bit of wallflower? You need an LL that can work the room. Get it?
Let’s whittle the remaining assessment process down to four very simple questions:
- Who doesn’t send you chain emails? This person is void of ill will which is why they don’t ask you to forward ridiculous or, as Bill Maher would say, religulous emails to a set number of friends in exchange for a year of good luck, three wishes or—the ever famous—money from Bill Gates.
- Who understands your need for understanding? This person listens when you need to be heard and then invents sound support points to make you feel like a genius when you’re clearly being an idiot.
- Who knows your favorite drink? There will be more than one time in your life when you just need one and the keeper of this information will always make sure your glass is half full of something you truly enjoy whether it’s apple juice or an appletini.
- Who fills in the blanks for you? S/he introduces themselves to the nut that you’re talking to because they know you have no idea who it is; finishes the occasional incoherent sentence with a nod and a wink; and/or whisks you away from trouble the minute they notice that dang magnetic attraction between your foot and your mouth kicking into gear.
Got it? Good. This is your LL—willing to leap tall buildings in exchange for nothing at all. Everybody has at least one. Finding (and hanging onto) yours will help you feel like a million bucks.
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